Into-Me-See

True intimacy is not achieved by a sexual act. It is not the holding of hands or the looking longinly into the eyes of another. Dr. Grimes, a Christian Studies professor of mine, once described it best by breaking it down into Into-Me-See. It is the ability to look into a person, not just at them. To stand naked before another while being fully clothed.

True Intimacy is so rare these days. Our fears cause us to push up barriers. If another saw us as we truly are, would they still see us as beautiful? Would they still be our friend?

The mystery of you surrounds me. Reaching out to your ever present hands I am comforted. Naked I stand before You, but You do not walk away. From barren hands life springs forth, because you are the giver of Life.

Mawwage

I was in the midst of studying for my New Testament exam and I found this:

But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
1Corinthians 7:28

I thought it was too funny not to post.

My friends will often times hear me complain about how much I want to be married that I am willing to apply for a mail-order-husband. I'm only joking... kind of...

I do want to get married, but not right now. Right now there is too much to do. I have to finish school, get myself financially secure, and most importantly become spiritually, emotionally, and mentally ready.

I will get married one day... but I can hold off on the "headache" for now : )

Before I leave this world...

There are a couple of things that I want to do:

10: Take a month long road trip traveling through the Northern United States and Canada

I love going on roadtrips. Not really knowing where you're going kind of excites me. I want to take a summer off if possible and just roam the northern United States and Canada. I want to live in the back seat of my car, shower in the river, poop in the woods... yeah... that's the life for me.

9: Smuggle Bibles into a Communist Country

Well... kind of already did this...there is an awesome story behind this so feel free to ask me.

8. See Italy

Among all forms of art architecture is one of my top five. I would love to visit this country and just walk the cities and soak it all in.

7. Become an old lady

This might seem kind of stupid, but if you really think about it not everyone makes it. I want to be an interesting old lady though. The kind of old woman the nieghborhood gangsters fear and respect, but children love. When my body is no longer able to work, I want to be the Lord's bard. A person who tells His story.

6. Walk the Great Wall of China

Of all the continents in the world I love Asia the most. With her warm-hearted people and her mountains looking like jagged emeralds my heart was found and left there. I would love to walk the great wall which is the symbol of Asian greatness.

5. Private, very private : )

Trust me... you don't want to know.

4. Be arrested for a good cause

You have not fully lived until you have heard, "We have the Place surrounded, come out with your hands up!"

3. Become my Husbands Muse

I want to be an inspiration to many people, but my husband will be the most important.

2. Give Birth

I really want to be a mother. It's in my nature.

1. Hear the voice of my Savior call me home

I want His voice to be the last thing I hear.

Flyleaf-Fully Alive

Telling Layla's story spoken
'Bout how all her bones are broken
Hammers fall on all the pieces
Two months in the cover creases

Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures

All my complaints shrink to nothing
I'm ashamed of all my somethings
She's glad for one day of comfort
Only because she has suffered

Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive and she knows
How to believe in futures


I'm ready to live, ready to breathe, ready to be...to be found in You. Ready to smile and love life.

I have such a heart for music. I struggle with bouts with depression. But the Lord is always there to see me through and bring me back to life. He provides me with people who love me and care for my wounds and He provides me with music that inspires me to unite myself to Him.

He is the reason why I can't help but sing, in the same way that music was used to bring me back to Him, I want to use music to bring others to the only one who can heal and restore.

Cautivo

Tus ojos caen sobre mi como la lluvia
Tu eres mi voz y mi sonreír

Cuando sus voces no me dejan descansar
Y cuando mis manos no paran de temblar
Ahí tu estarás a mi lado

Sea mi aliento
Sea mi motivo
Sea mi amor
Porque soy tu Cautivo