and how do I get her back?
I woke up about a half hour ago due to a nightmare. When I was reading through some of my old letters, I came across this insert.
Where did this person go?
Written 7-15-06
He is the reason why the lark sings, the moon shines, and the flowers spring.
He is the reason why the streams murmur, the rivers speak, and the oceans roar.
The purpose for life, the joy in death, the melody of our song, and the reason for breath.
He is our everything.
I'm a Pastor's kid, and those of you who are can understand when I say that we are expected to portray a certain image. So growing up I quickly became accustomed to acting as if everything was ok even though it wasn't. I never allowed myself to show weakness, and even though I was furious at someone I would not allow anyone else to notice. Even the one who had insulted me. Having to constantly play the part of the "Pastor's kid" has lead me to question whether or not I'm constantly playing the part of the "Christian". Do I make myself push aside everything I’m struggling with in order to portray what is expected of me?
Am i just being too hard on myself?
I have my good weeks and my bad weeks... I think this is one of my bad weeks.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
What Happened To This Person?
Posted by Eva at 3:21 AM
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2 comments:
Eva, darling, I love you. You are a sweet wonderful loving woman. I've known that since the day I met you. But another thing I know is that you are human. You have feelings and when you feel hurt you should be able to share that with someone (Even if its not with the one hurt you). Find someone you trust, someone you can confide in and talk to at any time day or night, and call them, tell about your hurts and sadness. Of course God is always there for you to confide in, but He made us relational beings, especially the female beings. We have friends and loved ones to confide in when things get tough. I'm not saying to gossip or seek revenge by smearing the names of those that hurt you, but share it with someone. Sometimes they can help you organize your thought and feeling so that eventually you may even be able to confront the one who hurt you.
I love you! Take care love.
That was a very deep post. I found it fascinating. I think this is one of your bad weeks too. I hope you can come to a place where you don't have to question if you are portraying something or if you ARE something. I think you should be yourself... cuz I like you. So if you are faking, cut that crap out. :-)
Although I have confidence in you because I've gotten to know you and see you with the eyes of my heart. Your fruit shines. Have no worries.
Peace
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