My Man

The Journey Ends…

So… a while back ago, when I was still going to CBU, I was waiting for a friend so we could walk to Chapel together. I didn’t know what time it was but I knew it was starting to get late. I started to rummage through my bag to find my cell phone and when I saw the time I shrieked and started power walking to chapel. There I found other friends and sat down next to them. In doing so I realized that I had lost my favorite bracelet. It was simple, no gold or silver, diamonds or rubies, just a couple beads and string. It was my evangelism bracelet. I would use it every day at the children’s center I worked at. Through its colors I would share the story of the most Amazing and Beautiful person I had ever met. It is fulfilling to see how the children so readily understood and wanted to know more. They weren’t jaded or skeptical, they just knew there was something out there that was greater and stronger than anything they had ever been exposed to and they were fascinated to find out how deeply this One loved them. Seeing that I had lost it left me heartbroken.

But I had a Brilliant Idea! I decided to pray that God would return it to me. Not only that, I asked that God would have my man deliver my bracelet back to me. This is how I would know he was the right guy for me. I knew that God had heard my prayer and said yes, He would return my bracelet to me by the hand of the one who would be my man.

After beautiful moments of worship through music, it was time to bring out my Bible. I opened my bag and once again started to rummage through it. God has an amazing sense of humor. There, laying on top of the rim of my Bible was my bracelet.

So you see… God has already given me a man. He’s a little short and chubby, but his pages are marked, worn, and familiar. I have a hard time when I am away from him for a long time. Though I’ve used other peoples “men”, and for the most part they are exactly the same, for some reason they don’t give me the same satisfaction that mine gives me. We have a special bond, this Bible and I.

So this is what I’ve decided to focus on. Enjoying life with my man, and, as Joelle said, the God of the universe who can't take his eyes off of me.

Flyleaf: All Around Me (music video)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
-2 Corinthians 5:17

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed


How beautiful is the one who created me. Who redeemed me from the darkness where I made my bed, and breathed into me new life. He envelopes me in the warmth of his being and is a constant presence in my life.

Please pray for Flyleaf as they tour with bands such as Korn, may they be a good testamony to what life can be when you are found in Him.

How to handle a goodnight kiss

For guys who just don't know how

Jeff Dunham and Peanut part 3

HA !!!

Linkin Park - What I've Done

I love going to Riverside on the weekends. It's nice to be around people that speak your same language.

This last weekend was especially nice. After being gone for a while, I got to spend time with one of my best guy friends. We spent a long time talking about our lives, where they were going, and what we want to see happen in them. We spoke of hope, and seeing beauty in the world around us. This is probably what inspired me to blog these last two entries.

I love this song because it is the perfect depiction of mercy. I know myself, I know the things I have done. I know I have been forgiven, but I must forgive myself too. To shed the guilt so that I truely see myself as God does. Only then will I be free to be, free to work as He would have me.

"So let mercy come and wash away what I've done"

And though it was the darkest night, the Son still rose.

Hope. Hope is that which keeps mankind moving

Hope is the motivation and the cure

The promise that which has happened will not always be

It is the promise... tomorrow will soon come

With new life and restroration riding on its tail

Hope is the answer, Hope is the way

Hope is nothing this world can give

It is a gift from the one seated on the throne

The Son who rose

Through His eyes we can see

The beauty in this ugly world

On love and being loved

A couple of you have asked me how my quest for a man is coming along. Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I thought I should update you.

I recently visited my parent’s church. After the service had ended I couldn’t help but notice a young man who was smiling at me. I smiled back and continued to make small talk with the people around me. Every so often I would lift my eyes to find his eyes and smiled had not moved. After ten minutes of playing “googlie eyes” I came to realize that I am now 24 years old, and have no time for foolishness. My little sister just got married last summer, and I had to endure more than half my family and friends asking me when I was going to do the same. I stood straight, locked eyes with him, and began to slowly move toward him. Trying to do my best impersonation of a cat I tilted my head down and gently rolled my hips from side to side. As I got closer his smile got wider, until he realized that I was moving past him and out the door.

What I lack in shame, I make up for in pride. I am more than fine asking a guy friend to hang out, but romantically I would never make the first move.

I need to talk to my Johns (Jons). They have done nothing to help me find a man. I am a 24-year-old grad student living at home with her parents, and I have two cats. I don’t think they understand the severity of my situation. I have been on dates though…and by dates I mean one… and by one I mean a blind date set up by a friend at work. I must say that the date ended in a sturdy handshake, an awkward sides hug, and under the understanding that this will never go beyond friendship, and that’s ok with me.

When I go on a date I do a couple things to ensure my safety. First of all I make sure I at least know some history on the guy, secondly I wear my cross necklace, and thirdly I don’t shave my legs. I do the last two just in case he tries to get “frisky”. If one doesn’t stop him, then I hope the other will. If that doesn’t work my Jujitsu-practicing-Pastor and my military brother-in-law have taught me moves that I am VERY eager to try out.

I am by no means lonely though. I have my family, my sisters in the faith, my Johns (Jons) and people who take good care of me. A couple weeks ago my truck broke down and my friends Mike and McCormick came to help me. The same thing happened last week and my cousins fixed the starter so I could drive home. I love writing as a means of communicating, but other than that words mean very little to me. I feel loved by what people do, not by what they say. I feel very loved by people around me.

Happy Valentine's Day! I pray you are all feeling loved.