The Manhunt Continues

Just because I’ve stopped writing about it does not mean I’ve stopped thinking about it.

I’ve always been told that the attraction is another person is physical first, then emotional, spiritual… whatever. I never fully believed it until recently...

Wanting to test this theory out I took out my Aztec war paint and gear. When my grandma Tina is in town, we usually spend Tuesdays running errands and making dinner. I woke up extra early one Tuesday morning showered, fixed my hair, put on make-up and a cute outfit. I picked up my grandma and went to the grocery store and a bunch of other places. It was interesting to see how many men smiled at me and tried to get eye contact. The reason why I did this with my grandma is because even though she is 4’10” and weights about a 100 pounds, she is not a woman you want to mess with. I have a 6’3” 200 pounds plus guy friend who is afraid of her. I knew I would be safe under her care.

I then went on to change the profile pictures to my Myspace and Facebook accounts to ones that were more feminine and flattering. I continued to get messages from guys that wanted to meet me. Most never went past the initial hello, one got bored after realizing I wanted to start out as friends, but one guy is sticking it out. He knows that I move really slowly, but he’s still there. Don’t know what’s going to happen to that one...

I think my main issue these days is loneliness. I have amazing friends who I feel so close to even though we live so far apart. In that regards I’m not lonely. But there are other needs that haven't been met. Men and women were not created to be alone, and while some do have the gift of celibacy, I don’t.

In John Piper’s book “Desiring God” he talks about marriage being the pattern for Christ’s relationship to the church. Just as Christ gave his life for the church so should the husband for his wife. Just like the church serves to please God, so should the wife the husband. None of this is done out of a sense of duty, because that would void everything. But rather it is done out of a sincere love for one another. I love taking care of people not because it is my duty as a minister of the faith, older sister, or friend but because I truly want to. It makes me happy to see others taken care of.

I want that to be part of my life and I'm sad it hasn’t happened yet.

Kasten is the “John” that I go to when seeking advice on the males of our species. Since he is a guy, I consider him to be an expert. It is because of him and my other Johns/Jons that I’ve been kept out of a lot of trouble. They taught me that I deserved a lot better than what I allowed myself to have. They are a great example of what I should look for in a man. (Included in this list are my sister, Jaime, and Marina who offer a Biblical-Feminine Perspective)

I want someone who is genuinely devoted to God, and seeks to please Him above anyone else. Someone who will love God more than he loves me but loves me more than he loves himself. Someone who can take care of me and put up with all my neurotic tendencies. I would like a passionate man. I am a passionate person and I need someone who can match that… I want a Mark Anthony to my Cleopatra, a Wesley to my Buttercup, a Gomez Adams to my Mortitia, a Lawson to my Laura… I really want a man who will call me on my crap and make me want to be a better person. A man like Rambo, because when my butt has been captured by some Burmese rebels I want a man who will go in and save it. (To get this reference, you may need to watch the last installment off Rambo) Most importantly I want a man whose home is found in God and will follow Him to any nation, because for as long as he follows God, I will follow him... I'm a cuddler... someone who is the same would be nice.

A couple years ago Kasten and I watched “Apocalypto”. Being the huge dork that I am I fell in love with the lead guy in the film. In many ways he embodied the list above… except for the loincloth. I turned to him and asked him if he thought I’d ever find my hunter. He said, “No. He’ll find you.”

I talked to him a couple days ago about all of this. He told me how it really is all about waiting on God’s timing. Doing something other than this could just cause problems. Besides that, what kind of choice is made when it is done in desperation? I would be greatly offended if someone wanted to date me not because he liked me, but because he thought it would be a good idea.

So what more is to be done than to take off my Aztec war paint, gear and wait?

While the physical may be what initially attracts people, it is the spiritual, emotional, and mental connection that truelove is based on. I want to one-day date and eventually marry my best friend. This is based on much more than what we initially see.